With the company rescinding furloughs (not calling back, just cancelling), I began to think that things were possibly OK. I expected to be on reserve this month and I escaped it. And a rumor began to float around that some announcement was coming in September and the aura was that it was going to be a positive announcement. So, I’ve been slightly happier lately than usual.
Then today, I read on the company pilot forum that there are 12 downgrades effective Oct 23rd. One guy actually posted on the forum that he’d personally received a call today that he was being downgraded back to FO along with 11 others. This is hot off the press. No news of more furloughs as of this second, but they are undoubtedly on the way.
I honestly thought that things were leveling off here. Pilots here are quitting left and right at present. This is both good and bad. Good because if they are senior to me, it saves my QOL by just that much. Bad, because if they are quitting, they’ve obviously decided it is futile to stick around and they are probably filling up what few jobs are out there in this economy (assuming they are staying in aviation).
So, as to me. I have no damn clue. Management will issue good news memos saying that they were able to save “valued members of the family” from involuntary furlough and that they are pleased. Then 3 weeks later, they announce another round of furloughs. Its like we are all being rented. They open another base and don’t tell those affected by a displacement until single digit days from the effective date.
This flying thing is more of a disease than a gift. I put up with more BS under the name of fulfilling my passion in life. I do understand the difference between FLYING and commercial flying. I will always love aviation. But, doing it for a living is the problem I face.
I am beginning to think that I have been slowly worn down at such a slow pace that I don’t even realize the extent of the damage to my personal and family life. I am just not even myself anymore. I hate to say it, but it is true. I’ve abandoned all personal hobbies. My marriage, although doing fine, has been slightly at a lower level than normal. Even my dogs don’t like me quite as much. How much time have I been away from them all during this pursuit? I am afraid to even add it up.
I am about to go on a week cruise with my wife. I bet we’ll talk about it some. But, maybe after spending a week vacationing with her, something will snap and I too will join the mass exodus from this industry.
My decisions eitherway cannot be adequately judged by either those who have never done this job, or the guys who have made it. Making it is more a matter of sheer luck than it is a natural professional progression. This industry will never be the same as it was before 9/11. For me to sit here and hope for that is likely personal and professional suicide.
Will it turn around? Most certainly, yes. Will it crash again with the next big thing, most certainly, yes. Will I be happy with a job that continually keeps me away from home on long stints with the ONLY (and I mean ONLY!!!!!) reward being the personal satisfaction that I cannot explain that comes from flying airplanes?
When I look into the eyes of my niece and imagine her as being mine, this job loses all its appeal. My child will come into this world in due time and I will be faced with this prospect.
And I ask myself, is my endless drive to fly airplanes something that I am plagued with at present because my life as no other real meaningful endeavor? Perhaps bringing a child into this world will smack my forehead with enough force to bring into focus my exact purpose out here.
Flying is definately a purpose of mine. I cannot deny it. However, the question here is about pursuing it in a “must do” sort of manner. And honestly, I am scared of the alternative. Sitting at a desk with a 10-key under my hand doesn’t sound appealing either. But, I’d have to focus on the positives it would bring, decide to be the best that I can be at it, and just make a game out of it. It will never satisfy that one area that screams for satisfaction, my limitless yearning for all things aviation. But, it will satisfy most of the areas in my life. It will bring a boredom to my life that doesn’t exist now, but there is a safety and a comfort built into that that is honestly appealing. I guess the question is the ageless one of, “Is the grass really greener over there?”
I don’t have an answer, but the first of many cliffs is likely coming. I hope I can make the RIGHT decision in time.
September 6th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Wow, interesting post… I guess all of this – and whatever conclusions you eventually come to as a result – is all part of your journey in life. I guess you’ll work things out one way or another. My only suggestion is not to take it too seriously. There are surely other ways to put food on the table and still be able to fly just for pleasure. Good luck! (and thanks for sharing)
September 6th, 2008 at 4:12 am
Flying could still be the right occupation for you but maybe you need to get out of the airlines? What about corporate? How about commercial flying light twins and such?
Most of the big airlines are run by idiots and would have folded long ago if not for Chapter 11 (I can’t believe how often they go back into Chapter 11 – what a joke). Try flying for a group that doesn’t treat you as just another number.
Oh yeah, and make sure your pension is in a fund that is NOT controlled by the airline. Here in Australia our pensions are paid by the company into an external trust. You can still lose if the company goes under but usually only a few months payments, not the whole damned lot.
Good luck and do what’s right for you, your family and your passions.