I get a kick out this phrase. It just sort of donned on me the other day how often this phrase is thrown around with no real meaning. I guess it is the same as “Hello”. Its just a greeting.
As a pilot, I sit up front while the flight attendant right behind me is greeting the passengers boarding the airplane. Almost every person is socially wired to say this phrase. “How are you?”, “Good”. Repeat 40 – 50 times per flight.
I am convinced that you could ask this phrase of someone who is barely surviving, buried in debt, on the verge of suicide, and the answer to the question would still be “Good”. Its a social training pattern issued in both directions with no thought.
What are we actually accomplishing with this phrase? The fact is, no one really cares how you are doing in the environment that the greeting is typically issued. If the recipient were to stop and say, “Well, I am doing quite badly right now”, the offerer of the greeting would likely be caught off guard and wouldn’t know how to handle it. Its sort of a rhythm we’ve come to expect. “How are you?”, “Good”, “How are you?”, Good”. If one is actually bad, does it benefit the offerer of the greeting to know this? Do they really care? Are they going to do something about it? Offer some friendly advice or help? If you are good (as is the expected reply), then the reply will typically be nothing. It ends with the reply, “Good”.
Doing 5 or 6 legs of flying all over the country, it is funny how often I overhear this common, but empty greeting. 50 passenger per flight, times 5 flights, I will hear this greeting 200 times conservatively.
Why not just say, “Hello”? That is really all you are doing anyways. You are acknowledging their existence – an important thing to do. But you don’t really care how they are doing, nor would you do anything if they were doing badly, in most situations where the greeting is issued.
I am on a “How are you?”, boycott. I will no longer answer the question unless, in my perception, the greeter actually cares how I am doing. Otherwise, I will answer with a “Hello”. No one will know the difference.